The new job

We applied for this house parent job. I had seen an
add on craigslist back in november and thought we would be good at
that. I like to cook for people and Darren is great with boys. But we
had just moved in and were getting settled. Then Darren had been doing
training to become a manager at TJ's and not hearing about what was
happening and when. He was frustrated one day and was looking for jobs
on craigslist and found CSF (Community Service Foundation). He called
Rev (coordinator- full name Reverdy-not a man of the cloth) They did a
phone interview and he liked Darren, he sent us a bunch of questions
about who we were and why we wanted to get in to this. In a week we
had our first in person interview. In good Kate and Darren tradition I
was nervous and thinking about all of the angles and not sure, and
trying to plan every possible scenario, Darren had no worries he was
totally excited and feeling ever more drawn to it the more he talked
to Rev. I prayed about it, talked about my feelings, wrestled with
staying in a comfortable life and or moving and commuting and living
in a very different situation. But came around on my own, and realized
that this is an amazing opportunity and why not do it. We live
basically for free, just have our own fun and car expenses, and get to
affect some teenagers who could really use some stable loving people
in their lives. We knew it would not always be easy and might not want
to do it for ever, but if we never tried we would never find out if we
are meant to be parents to many or not. So interview one was them
explaining the program to us and getting to know the different fascets
of the organization. Then it was telling us about being house parents
and what that involved. Interview three was Rev coming to our house to
meet with us and see what we were like, how we kept house, our
relationship and problem solving, strengths or differences. We had to
fill out questions and he was checking to see if we had the stuff to
handle it when the kids were giving us trouble and making us crazy. WE
PASSED. Then the plan was to move in on July 18th and take over then.
Between the 9th and then Darren was to do as much training as possible
and I could go to as much as possible. Then the house parents in the
house were having personal problem and ended moving out early. So they
had a relief worker in there for a week and we moved in on July 16th.
We have a 4 bedroom house in Doylestown, Pa. There are 6 boys in the
house(boys because it is Darren's job primarily) They are 2 to a room.
They are not related and have come to the program through various
reasons. Drug addictions, abuse or violence. They are in hardcore
rehab and then come to us when they have been successfull and instead
of just throwing them back into home or their neighborhood, they come
and live a semi normal life and get used to more freedoms. They are
not allowed to smoke and are not supposed to swear and lights out is
at 10, which are the rules that get broken the most. I hate that
anyone smokes but considering that they have come so far from drugs
and are just going to smoke when they get out we are making sure they
know it is not healthy and are fighting for more important things.
Darren is amazing at talking to them and making them think. Our plan
is to get respect from them and change their hearts, make them think
about their choices and that way when they get out they will make
better choices because they care about themselves. Two have had deep
converstations and cried with Darren, they are sharing their burdens
with him which is amazing! They give us trouble at times and think it
is all about them, and they need to have the last word. We are trained
in de-escalation techniques to try and keep the conflicts from
happening. It is totally hands off and I am rarely home with them, Dad
was worried about my safety but there is not any risk.
We are doing good, we are meant to work together he is great and I
have parenting skills to set rules and know when they are crossing
boundaries. We can have people visit and have our own master bedroom,
walk-in closet and bathroom. The kids have a living room and we have
one that they are not allowed in. anyway its all good, we are shooting
to make it a year, but if we stay for 2 years we will have all of our
debt payed off. We might even have some money saved up to buy a boat.
Then the plan is to move back to Santa Barbara or Ventura harbor and
live on the boat. Also Darren gets to go to grad school for basically
free. He can get a masters in counseling and restorative
practices(IIRP-International Institute of Restorative Practices),
through a sister organization. Then get an awesome job! We knew there
was reasons for not going to Eastern and then this fell in our laps.
God is helping us, and it is good. LIving on the edge of comfort is
where you can be truly vulnerable and fully rely on Him.